


(x)Tube

by greninja (ibukis)



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Public Masturbation, Semi-public masturbation, The Wrap Assassin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-14
Updated: 2014-12-14
Packaged: 2018-03-01 11:09:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2770835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ibukis/pseuds/greninja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scout fucks the Wrap Assassin. There's no other way to put this. I'm so sorry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(x)Tube

**Author's Note:**

> a while back, i wrote another fic detailing a scout shattering the wrap assassin in a soldier's eyes. and i linked that to one of my friends. he asked if scout fucks the tube. i said no. and basically, this happened.
> 
> please don't take this seriously. i wrote this in 30 minutes at 6:30 am. this is not a serious fic be warned

Scout was absolutely bored.

It was an undeniable truth. They were on the last point of Dustbowl, but their Engineer had already placed a level 3 sentry, their Demoman had placed stickybombs in every useful place, and BLU was off fighting the rest of the team back near their spawn. Scout couldn't go out there as, really, what CAN a Scout do in the midst of all that fighting? He was more for picking off their wandering team members, ALONE, not in the middle of bullets and rockets and god knows what other weapons they're starting to use.

Another, more awkward, undeniable truth was the fact Scout was getting a little turned on. By what? He had absolutely no idea. Maybe it was just cause he hadn't been able to get off in a while, considering their rapid fighting and requirement to be ready to battle at any time. Maybe it was quite literally out of nowhere. Point is, he was feeling a little bit aroused, and a little bit uncomfortable.

Luckily, there was that huge crevasse underneath the surprisingly sturdy bridge to the very last point. Nobody, absolutely nobody goes down there, in Scout's experience. It was mostly obscured from view, anyways, and if needed he could climb in one of the drain pipes to hide himself even better. And, he'd also gotten that new weapon, that tube of wrapping paper-

No. What the hell was he thinking? Fucking that? His cock could get a papercut! But it WAS a bit alluring. And he WAS known for being that kind of guy, doing weird as hell things like that. (As if masturbating in the middle of a battle wasn't weird enough, at least.)

And that settled it in his mind, as he grabbed the tube and the accompanying ornament- he was given a tutorial on how to use it, it was pretty much like his Sandman except it shattered, which was pretty cool in his mind- announced he was going to take the alternate route to get behind BLU (which, again, absolutely nobody uses), and trotted down the stairs leading off the side of the bridge. Obviously, he went in the completely opposite direction. At least he could rest assured knowing neither the Engineer nor Demoman would bother to look and see where he was going.

And so, once he reached the shady, semi-secluded end of the trench, he hopped up into the empty pipe (thank god for double-jumping) and then proceeded to take out his bizarre weapon. Amazingly enough, he fit in the pipe pretty well; it was a little tight, but usable for his purposes. He laid flat on his back, and awkwardly started stroking his cock through his pants, trying to get himself hard enough to actually fuck the thing.

After a bit of blankly staring up at the top of the pipe and thoughtlessly rubbing himself, Scout deemed himself aroused enough to stick it in the tube without any awkwardness and hastily slid down his pants. Honestly, it felt pretty good being able to get off again, even if he was about to do it with a wrapping paper tube. He adjusted himself at just the right angle to be able to actually penetrate the tube, which felt extremely awkward to say much less think about, and pushed himself in.

"Holy fuck."

That, in his mind, felt awesome, and he couldn't help but let out a small whimper. Like, much better than he thought fucking a cardboard roll could ever feel. He certainly wasn't oblivious to the fact that it was a little small, and it felt wonderful around his hard cock. He decided that he could just imagine it was like, an alien vagina or something, as even though it felt fantastic the texture was still weird as fuck, and then promptly started rapidly pounding away at it. Wait, what was that noise off in the distance?

He could hear it clearly. BLU was getting closer. Aw shit. The sentry was starting to go off, indicating that they were close. Deciding that if he was going to want to actually have a full session, he'd better turn his masturbating into overdrive, Scout started attempting to fuck the tube even faster. The sounds of guns and explosions filled his ears as he kept thrusting away, and he could vaguely make out some of his teammates shouting out for him. He decided all that was unimportant, though, there would be many more battles to fight later. And he tried to ignore those thoughts and turn up his fantasizing into overdrive.

Vague thoughts of fucking some willing, hot babe filled Scout's mind, the fantasy changing locations and positions rapidly in his thoughts, trying to find that one super-hot thing that he'd be able to cum to. He was getting closer; and as far as he could tell, so was BLU to the point. By this point Scout was moaning involuntarily and even sweating a bit, both hands dedicated to pumping the tube in sequence with his thrusts into it. The whole situation felt so bizarre to him, and a little bit like something you'd find out of a weird Japanese porno or something. Fuck, he was getting closer...

"You failed!"

The sound of the Administrator's voice ringing out through the battlefield was the last push Scout needed, and he let himself thrust his hips forward one final time before finally cumming, legs spread with his semen spilling over his stomach and clothes. At that moment, he could care less about the fact that BLU had won, or the fact that his new weapon was going to be permanently ruined, or that he was going to be put through the Respawn system again. Wait, he cared about that last fact, hold on, shit shit shit-

The whole team reappeared in the pure white room, all holding their previous weapons, clothes a bit dirty but otherwise healthy. Except for Scout, with his pants around his ankles and now-limp dick still in his weapon. Weapon. Not masturbatory aid.

He couldn't think of anything to say, and he froze up, half naked in front of all his friends, his ONLY friends.

Well, fuck.

**Author's Note:**

> ironically this is the first time i've actually written nsfw this in depth


End file.
